Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Randomize
