Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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