I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
only you would photoshop your dick
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
