i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
Randomize
