How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
