So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
