Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
