Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
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