i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
