ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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