Someone shit on the floor
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
