Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
