I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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