Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
