She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
