she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
