the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
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