problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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