I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
