What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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