I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
