I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
