worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
