She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize