I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
this just has baby written all over it
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
