This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
