Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
bring money and cleavage
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
