Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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