he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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