How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
