Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
