the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize