did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
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