the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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