you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
