didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
