I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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