I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
