i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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