Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
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