i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
I have demons in me.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
