Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
