I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
