I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
You dont lie about slip and slides
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
Randomize
