You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
