$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Randomize
