someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
