I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
