she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
