i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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