Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
