Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
you would pick up someone in the library
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
I need moral support for this bender
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Randomize
