bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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