Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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