brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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