I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
