I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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