yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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