By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
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