i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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