meet me or not, i'm out of control
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize