So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I said "one day" and that day is not today
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
A bitchslap is in order.
Randomize
