end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
