Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I will pee on everything he values.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
