Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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