So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
