your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
