The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
