I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize