No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
